Letters from mad people

This one certainly ranks highly in the weird stakes

Letters from mad people #7 - 29/06/03

From:suzy whitehouse
To:grapefruitopia.com
Sent:Sun 29/06/2003 15:04
Subject:what would you do for a million pounds¿

My mate said to me the other day "I would do anything for a million pounds".  "Anything?", I said.  "Yes" he said.
Do you know its amazing what scenerios you can come up with whilst thinking about it.  For example....
I said A) Would you walk into work in leather SM outfit, whip in hand, wait till yr boss (large scarey female) is bending over and whip her?
ANSWER from him YES
OK, lets make it a bit harder....Would you eat hamster eyes?
ANSWER urgh thats too disgusting, but prob yes
OK, would you suck out tramps poo through a dirty sports sock?
...................Lets just say it got worse...........................But its is a great game.
Suffice to say, my mate Mr I would do anything for a million quid turned out to be a wet squib. and you know something else, I am as Mad as a Pie!!
Cheers

My reply..

From:benjymous
To:suzy whitehouse
Sent:Sun 29/06/2003 15:19
Subject:RE: what would you do for a million pounds¿

That's a pretty good point - the boundaries of normal self control do 
begin to come crumbling down when there's a large amount of money at 
stake.  Look at big brother - 12 (ok, now 13) people go live on tv 
24/7 and make complete tits of themselves just for the chance of 
winning £70k.
 
God knows what they'd get up to if there was a million up for grabs 
(it'd probably be unbroadcastable, anyway)
 
Hmm... if only I had a million pounds to offer :-S

it goes on..

From:suzy whitehouse
To:grapefruitopia.com
Sent:Sun 29/06/2003 16:13
Subject:1,000,000
What would I do with a million big ones?
My answer falls into 2 seperate parts.  I am a gemini so thats the way I work, I am 2 people in one body.
My nicer side would have to say that I don´t think that money buys happiness and therefore whether I was buying a lottery ticket or being asked to make an ass of myself, neither would bring anything good to my life.  I believe in yin and yan, something extraordinary happening to you means that something equally dark will happen to you aswell, so its therefore safer to go day by day bobbing along in the slow lane only venturing to the middle lane when you really do need to overtake someone or something.
However my darker twin side would probably do anything for a million pounds with the following exceptions:
Anything to do with other people/living creatures bodily fluids of any sort
Hurting innocents inc animals
Extreme pain and or long term health illnesses
Bungy jumping
Watching James Bond Movies
(Yes I know I am the only one person on this planet that finds James Bond movies, boring & predictable.......who would have thought that you could make (many millions) by writing a story & making a film about a bloke, who fannies around, shags a few birds, has a couple of car chases, meets his arch enemy, finds himself in a room, chained to a table, there is a bomb in the room about to go off in 2 mins, this bloke escapes within seconds, and then re-write this story a thousand times, except he changes the women each time, the location, the arch enemy and occasionally changes the bloke.  And then get people to watch and buy these films time and time again.
So maybe the question should not be what would you do for a million, but rather, how can you hoodwink a population of brain deads and make a million from there ignorance!!! such as Ian Fleming
 
PS (My disclaimer)  No one should take notice or offence from any of this message because I am as mad as a pie!

My reply..

From:benjymous
To:suzy whitehouse
Sent:Sun 29/06/2003 16:33
Subject:RE: 1,000,000

If yin and yang truely do balance out, then doesn't that mean that
people who do really nasty stuff will get rewarded for it?  Probably
explains a lot of things, really :-S

Ok, so the big question is how much money *would* it take before you'd
consider the exchange bodily of fluids with someone whilst bungee
jumping over a tank of innocent, but someone hungry sharks, whilst
being forced to watch bond movies via some kind of clockwork orange
style eye-keepy-open device? 

anyway..

What would you do for a million pounds? I doubt you'd bother writing to me, but i guess it's worth a try - our contact page